for her
I made these pieces in celebration and gratitude for black girls and women of color everywhere.
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even though this piece is called "crib Swingers," when I first made it, I had no specific meaning behind it outside of the fact of wanting to talk about the concept of hanging and lynching. this piece hangs right above my bed in my dorm room. it is a reminder of the violences committed against black people by white supremacist who seek to destroy the peace, liberation and progress of people of color.
as I created more commentary on this piece for my div iii exhibition, I began to realize that the colors to me are symbolic and complex. I used blue yarn, pink felt and cardboard to make this piece. the pink could represent not just women but the black women that have been found dead in jail cells hanging from the ceiling like sandra bland. the pink could also represent the humanity inside of all of us. our lungs are pink and all humans use them to breathe. the blue could represent the police, the patriarchy and male dominated culture we live in as well as the toxic system we are all entangled within.
Images are a part of everything we do, thus are connected to not only how we see ourselves and the world, but how we consume, feel, think, make meaning and navigate in it. I began making this piece during a time where I was mentally struggling with my mother being sick with covid-19 virus. I was very worried about my mother, homesick for family and felt unable to express my feelings through words. So I threw myself into my art. I began experimenting with materials: electric tape, paper, yarn, wool, wood, steel.
this piece represents the complexity of black girls and women. I used a variety of different types of yarn and wool to evoke the many different sizes, body types and attitudes of girls and women. often we are shamed and met with hostility for being outspoken about our injustices. We can't be angry or loud or at peace with our bodies.
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plus size black girls and women especially are treated as unworthy of love and empathy, are met with commentaries from people body policing us, telling us what we can and can't wear, what parts of us we can and can't show. telling us how, where and when it is acceptable for us to be ourselves and exist. this piece is for the multiple intersections of our identities. this piece was made to represent us, black and girl and woman and loud and queer and.....
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this piece is a form of healing; of radical self love. it encourages that we see the fullness of our complexities and of ourselves and that we create the spaces we need in order to do the work and let our intersections.
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thank you Sonya Renee Taylor, for reminding us that: "radical self love is not a destination you are trying to get to; it is who you already are, and that it is working tirelessly to guide your life." she tells us that we must look to radical self love as the transformative foundation for us to make peace with our bodies. this is the work.
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Through creation, I am healing the traumas. I am engaging with my discomfort and uncertainty and embracing it. I am throwing myself into a full process of unlearning shame, learning care and unraveling my inner child. this work encourages the patience and focus that healing requires. this honor our own bodies work requires a willingness to speak your truths and free yourself from your fears.
it is perfectly fine to be fat.
be fat
be full of life
there is no right way to have a body.
once when I was in middle School and I came to my mom and told her that I felt ugly and fat, she told me I was not. She said I am just big bonded and that I am just different from others.
if I am ugly, I am ugly beautifully. If I am ugly, I am ugly on my own terms.
today I accept my difference and love myself for who I am, not for someone else told me to be.
you gotta want this liberation for yourself first. you gotta want it for you. loving yourself is a journey and it takes everyday. you gotta love you for you and not look for it in something or someone else. YOU gotta want it.
this dreamcatcher was made of beads, wood and black yarn. for every two beads of a colored line, a syllable is sounded for a particular black girl or woman's name. the order is below. I chose these women for different reasons. some are my idols for plus size black women. some are my idols for being ugly; some are here to be remembered. some are here for breaking the rules. some are here for love. some are here for being enthusiasts. some are here to sing their truths. some are here to share their stories. some are here to sexually liberate. some are here to love unconditionally. some are here to break the bonds of time. one thing is for certain, they have all saved me.
Bonus work:​
when i was experimenting with the 2 prong tree font, i created this to honor audre lorde. then i made one for harriet.